Boring Post

I am kind of just chilling here wondering what to write about. Kind of reminiscing in the past here. All the things I've pulled myself through, all the things that hurt me but gave me the knowledge I have today, the lessons I had to learn, the situations where I waved the white flag in defeat and the situations where I kept on fighting through, the things that have effected my self esteem for the good and the bad.
Over all, I have had many factors that have made me into the woman I am today. I don't want to be proud of who I am, yet |I do not want to be upset over it as well. I want peace and acceptance more than anything. To feel equal to others for once and not to feel high and mighty. I used to think that I had to be the best of the best to be anything. Now, I realize that is not true. I should just try to strive to be the best I can be. I want my kids to feel the same way one day.

Now, I took it upon myself to write a list of things one should and should NOT do.
1. One should mind their own business unless asked, or if the situation is an emergency or worrisome.
2. One should not drive like a priss when they have a "cow girl up" sticker on the back of their vehicle..
3. One should take up a hobby or two or three. It helps with number 1.
4. One should always find time in a day to view and participate in humorous things. Laughter is really the best medicine.
5. One should not dictate how a family does things or calls things.. it goes along with number one and its also really rude..

I shall say that I really do not like being told what to do. Especially when what I'm doing is none of your business. I will not be ordered around and then be expected to just agree, especially with stupid topics. I'm being so vague right now even though I should be able to say what I want since this is my own blog, but whatever. I guess only some people think that they are the only ones entitled to freedom of speech.

Now, on the topic of LOOVVE..
I really miss Ricky a lot and I cant wait to be with him again. When we are together the world just seems right and I feel at peace. I'm tired of being away from him. It's been eight months and Landon really needs to meet his daddy. I have a bad feeling he might make strange with Ricky at first. I really don't want that to happen. Soon Ricky will be with me again, i can just feel it.

I'm pretty sure Landon and I both have caught the cold my mom had. I know \i have the sore throat, and he's been fussy and has a hard time drinking his milk. I'm guessing he has it too, so I might give him just a little Tylenol before beddy bye time.
Anywho.. I'm boring myself here..
Peace!

Sometimes things get.. Whatever

Life is life. It is either good, it's ok, it's hell, it's fantastic, magical, whatever.. Recently, it's been total hell for me. Seeing as how I'm a person with a negative mind set it's very hard for me to find the good things in life and it's excruciating to feel any hope for things that feel like a lost cause. Lately, I find myself wondering why I even care so much, why I was gifted with such a big heart. Right now, I feel like my big heart is about as amazing as ripping open the beautiful, colourful, Christmas wrapping paper and finding a pair of plain white socks. Or a small bag of nasty, beige granny panties. I guess those would be appreciated by someone who doesn't have much... So maybe I should just grin and bare whatever comes my way? Come what may and Love it, right? How can anyone really love or appreciate pain, heartache, anger, being hurt and abused? Obviously, I lack the super gene that makes people smarter and stronger after they've hurt themselves.

But, I guess I should just "get over" things right? No feeling pain, or feeling sorry for myself. I'm just expected to live on as if nothing has ever happened.

Enough of my useless,angry,  pity party rant. Nothing will change.

One thing i Like about having the head of my bed under a window.. When Landon gets bored with the room scenery, I can just lift him over my head and he can gaze longingly outside. He just dangles there and looks around.. Soon, all hes going to really see is tree though. There's a big tree outside the window and the leaves are starting to come out.

One thing I hate about having the bed under the window is that Guido likes to jump on the sill and claw the screen and beg to come in when its open. He did that a few nights ago and scared Landon and I so bad. He biffed it the first jump and the noise was too much for my extreme terror of the dark to handle. I almost screamed and Landon had a big pouty until I fed him.

I'm really enjoying the warm weather. It's soo lovely and it helps with the PPD. Who can really be all that sad with all that sunshine? Maybe I should move to Hawaii, Mexico, Jamaica? Somewhere sunny. Only I had better get used to being a lobster because I burn like a wild grass fire.

I'm probably going to be dying my hair dark again.. dark like my poor, haunted soul... Just kidding. I used to dress with the goth style so it bothers my mom when my hair is dark. But its my hair after all. ;)
Anywho, I am off to be this great mother everyone says I am... I think everyone might be a little nuts. But that's just me bashing myself, and I'm not allowed to do that anymore.

The Postpartum Blues x5

One of the hardest things for me after giving birth was the depression. I guess I should say is because this sadness doesn't seem to want to go away. I wish I had read the packet that the nurse gave me earlier, because I have felt crazier than I have ever felt before. Like a raging lunatic. There are so many hormone shifts and mood swings. Recently I must have had a another hormone change because I'm starting to shed my hair. Which results in lower self esteem because my hair was so thin before my pregnancy. I wish someone could invent some sort of way to see what balance your hormones are at when you feel the happiest and give you supplements based on that. Life would be grand.

Having read the packet the nurse gave me.. I feel relieved that my issues are so normal with the postpartum depression.
-Perfectionism.. (needing things to be perfect, done right or in control) CHECK
-Unresolved issues from the past. CHECK
-feelings of loss, freedom, body image, control, identity CHECK
-Isolation CHECK
-Unexpressed feelings - such as anger, resentment, guilt or fear. CHECK
I hit every single cause.. except the thyroid disorder. (i only listed a few)

Symptoms
-Feelings of inadequacy CHECK
-Oversensitive to things other people say, or over thinking CHECK
-Relationship difficulties.. Oh relationship difficulties we meet again... CHECK
- Low self esteem CHECK CHECK CHECK
-Frightening fantasies or thoughts CHECK
Yup.. I had every single symptom on that page minus the hurt the baby. i could never ever hurt my baby boy.
I probably cuddle him way to much though. But i need those snuggles.

And apparently a way to relieve sadness is screaming?? Whatever helps i guess...
Not really sure as to what I'm going to do to get through this. Its just reassuring to know that what I'm feeling is normal.

RANT~
OK, I've seen a few things from little 13 year old girls or whatever saying how they would like to meet this Jahar Boston Bombing Terrorist dude.. First off.. If hes bombing America.. He probably wont like you.. He`s killed innocent people. Second.. your 13, keep your legs closed and stop being little sluts who want "bad boys".
That is all.

Motivated Myself To Write A Blog

Postpartum depression seriously sucks. The desire to lay in bed all day and not have to deal with anything is so incredibly tempting, but mind you I do have a baby to take care of so I do indeed actually get up. Luckily, I will be seeing a psychologist next week to kick this to the curb so I can be happy and enjoy the time with Landon. Besides, stress keeps trying to dry my milk supply up. I'm so lopsided, its hideous. Ugh!

Lately, I've often caught myself pondering on humanity, and my lack of hope for it. What happened to people helping each other out and trying to be kind to others?  I feel as if the world has become so selfish and hostile. Sure there are moments and events where people pull together and show a great love for each other. I see the preciousness of marriage being destroyed daily. Not because of gay marriage, but because of adultery, cheating. Marriages being broken by lies, unloyalty. I see relationship problems being posted all over facebook. Whatever happened to privacy? I know I'm guilty of hanging out the laundry for all to see, but so is everyone. I see people insulting and judging each other over beliefs and values, political or religious. I see young mothers and new mothers being judged constantly for their choices. Since when did being a mother come with a "How too" book? The Internet is a pretty amazing advancement but I also believe somehow people have decided to use it as a way to be rude and condemn people. Don't get me wrong, everyone is in need of constructive feedback and we do have the right to express opinions. But are we doing it because we have good intentions or because we have come to find someone irritating and a grind on our nerves? I hear far too often of people who talk about people behind other`s backs about personal experiences that someone has trusted to tell the other. When did we become a world of judgement, and a world full of getting satisfaction over other people's trials? What kind of people are we becoming? We are ALL guilty of it at some point or another. But what made us stop being kind to others? What made us decide to feel high and mighty by putting other people down? There are too many young people hurting and killing themselves over other people's low and degrading behaviours. Look at Amanda Todd, or Rehtaeh. Why should these girls be made to feel inferior? It makes me so mad that people say they are weak for committing suicide. I can't even imagine how low these girls must have felt enough to find no hope and no will to live. These girls were not weak. They only were made to feel that way. Made to feel that way by selfish, unkind people. Seriously, when did people stop caring about people around them? I have my religious beliefs, and I am a Christian, LDS  in fact, and I believe in loving thy neighbor. Regardless of their sexual preference, race, religion, trials and choices. When I help someone out, or give feedback, I do it for their sake not my own. I care about people. The past couple year I have heard things said about me for my beliefs and my own personal trials. It broke my heart that my trust with these so called "friends" had been shattered. I never really judged them for their troubles and choices in their life. I accepted them no matter what. I  just found it ironic that the distasteful behind-the-back "feedback" they said about me was a reflection of themselves. So, really, I'm not too offended. I at least recognise it within myself and am trying to change.

I have allowed other people to shape and mold me into a bitter and angry person. I myself have become mean and hostile to others because of other people. People who don't even know me all that well. I have allowed other people to convince me that I'm worthless, ugly and not good enough. I have let other's make me feel like a bad mother, even though I'm trying my hardest under my own hard circumstances. I have let other people define me as controlling when in reality I am passionate about the way I want my marriage to be. And by that I want a good marriage structured by the teachings and beliefs of my religion. I do not hold anyone against their will and I will not be held against my will either. I am confident enough to address a problem and deal with rather than sweep it under the carpet like it doesn't happen. I know what I want out of my life and I will accept no less. I am not controlling of my equal partner.Believe me, in tough times I have offered the way out for both of us. And neither of us has decided to take that option. We have agreed to change and become better people for each other because we love each other. That's what love is. And the way we run our show is different from how other people run theirs. Marriage is between 2 people. Not 2 people.. and their moms, sisters, brothers and fathers. There should be no shoulds a marriage besides, you should always love each other, and should always make choices that benefit each other. Only positive shoulds. Every marriage has their own definition of positive shoulds. All I am trying to say is that if it's not your marriage.. shut up and back off. You don;t know the whole entire story of a situation. A real friend is going to try and help make a marriage work. (certain situations are excluded, like abuse etc. but even that can be worked out if both partners work hard and commit to it). Real love requires selflessness, not selfishness.
And I am finished my long rant.. I am horrible about speaking about these things because I can never seem to get out what I want to say in a way that people can understand.

Adios Amigos.

6 Week Mark

Landon hit his 6 week mark yesterday. And off to the doctor we went.
The good news is that Landon is growing normally and is very healthy. He will eventually stop having froggy legs, his head ridges will go away and his soft spot will close. Mommy on the other hand? WARNING WARNING TO MUCH INFO MOMENT HERE-- CONTINUE ON WITHOUT LOOKING IF YOU DONT WANT TO READ-- I guess my stitches decided to get infected and I now have an infected open sore that is leaking puss. --- ALL CLEAR!! TMI MOMENT OVER! And I have been given a prescription for anti-depressants because I need some help with my moods. Hurray for me.

I think women need more credit for what we go through when giving birth. It takes 2 years for our bodies to recover fully from the damage of carrying the baby and childbirth. We have rapid weight gain, stretch marks, our vitamins and other nutrients are leached out of us, then we have to either push this baby out of a small hole or be cut open, then there's all the recovery from those events and nursing. Not complaining, but it is pretty hard on our bodies and it can be emotionally exhausting. Actually no, it is emotionally exhausting.

I have decided to try walking some. on wednesday I went for an hour walk and it was so nice and warm outside. Landon slept the first part then woke up and was a little fussy on the way back. But it was sooo cute to see his cheeks jiggle when the road got bumpy. I'll have to take a video today on my walk.

I dont really have much to say, my life has kind of gotten on the dull part again.(As dull as one can get with a newborn) Ricky still has not been approved to be released from the Marines. Still waiting on him, still waiting on the visa. Seems like life likes to get stuck and hold off for long periods of time. Story of my life, I guess.

Starting Up Again. Life As A Mama.

I figured that I should start this up again and rant on about "life as a mama."
First off, I will mention that I always seem to have bottles chilling in my room. Right now there is currently three on the bedside table with the last dribblings of Landon's "snupper", "late snupper", and "early bweakfast".
My diaper genie always seems to be full and needing a change. Mostly, because I gave birth to a little pooper. I always just go right to the change table to check his diaper because I know there's going to be a little present in there for me to clean up. ALWAYS.

Aside from constant feedings and dirty diapers, life as a mama has been a rather interesting journey. It appears that Landon has become my "Well, I now know to NOT do that for the next one" Test subject. (Test Dummy didn't sound so pleasant)

I regret not trying a little harder to get Landon to nurse. There probably would have been more of a chance for bonding with him. But his weight and his health came first and bottle feeding it had to be, luckily i can pump like a jersey cow so he still gets my milk.

Unfortunately, I had the oh so lovely experience of forming mastitis. Which, by the way, sucks.. and hurts very bad. AND you have to get the hard lump out by rubbing and massaging the area, which you don't even want to touch. I remember when that sick, nasty lump came out. Oh, i almost puked. It was this big jelly like clump of sour milk. I remember seeing the texture of the milk was all wonky in the bottle so i poured it into a bucket and SPLAT. Most disgusting thing ever.

Landon has been more awake and alert now, and has had his first growth spurt. However, more alert has made him more grumpy, which has snagged him the nickname, The Kraken. Wake up to his little claws tearing into your flesh and you will see why i call him that. I don't think Krakens snort like a little piglet when they are hungry though. Or have kicky frog legs.

He is also smiling. He started smiling when his grandma started meowing at him, and bowowowowowing like a dog. He is still pretty stingy with them but they are coming and getting bigger. And they sure melt his mommy's heart.

And to top of this blog post, I must say I had the best birthday card from my friends Elisha and Brian. On the front it had a little yellow ducky and it say I Mithed your birthday? *open card* THIT! I laughed so hard. So simple but to me it was frickin hilarious.
Anywho.. hopefully i can keep this thing going now. I miss bid a farewell as my child is snacking on his hand like he has never been fed since birth.. and i need to exercise these saddle bags and muffin top off. Peace!

The "Late For A Good Reason" Post

It's the post you have all been waiting for. 

That's right, Landon Irving Smith was born. Right on time. 7 pounds 12 ounces, 20.7 Inches. Birthday: February 14th 2013. 

So, you see why this post is called The "Late For A Good Reason" Post. I'm pretty sure the only other time I've ever been able to claim something was late for a good reason was 9 months ago. Evidence? He's fast asleep in his moses basket next to me. 

The Slightly Unexpected Trek Into Motherhood:

The morning of the 13th started off just like any other typical Wednesday. Got my pregnant butt out of bed, got ready, and headed off to my doctors appointment. It was there they denied me of stripping my membrane's for the second time, and told me the fluid I was leaking was just dishcarge. (The day before my mucus plug fell out). After leaving my mother and I went to walmart where I waddled around, complaining I knew something was up with my body. Arriving home, I called up my own doctor and explained the situation to him, where apon he invited me out to get my membrane stripped that night and he wanted to restest the fluids. So at 6:45, my mother and I headed off to Bow Island, hoping for a little more encouragement that baby was on his way. The fluid was definately amniotic fluid, so that ment I could be induced soon so my predicted to be large baby with a large noggin could come out. Half an hour after arriving home, TWANG, my very first contraction occured. I WAS in labor. 

I scurried around doing random things hoping to keep the labor going, but eventually I had to lay down. Thianking, Oh you know, I'll be in labor for awhile it's best to get some sleep go get checked in the morning. Oh no. No, No, No was I ever wrong. About an hour after that, I felt like hell. I made my mom come down and lay with me to tide through the contractions, Then at about 2 am, I knew I had to go in. Ben and my dad gave me a blessing and off I went to the hospital. 

After mutiple hours of INTENSE back labor, a wonderful epidural and just under an hour of pushing (Feeling nothing at all) Landon was born. It was the most... amazing, wonderful, and most life changing moment I have ever had. As soon as he was on my chest, I knew he really was my world. Both mine and Ricky's world. We are so blessed with this precious little boy that we dedicate our lives to each day. Our little familia has started!! 

                                                            "Where the poop am I??" 

Stayed about 2 nights in the hospital. Stinks and I are learning how to nurse. Oh, it's so frustrating sometimes but when he latches and has a good feed it's totally worth it. My mom has just been super-gamma for Landon. She helps me at night when I need to feed, this morning she woke up at six with barely any sleep and cleaned my bathroom and folded my laundry, she's sewing blankets for him. I would be in a ess without her or the rest of my family. They hold him and love him up when i need a break. Erin spent an hour or more helping me feed Stinks last night. And Jocelyn Miller came over today to help me with a few feeding tricks. I have so much support and I really appreciate it all! 

Anywho, I need to peace out and focus on the little bundle of joy. And get some food and drinkable liquids in my tummy, (Nursing makes you hungry btw!) 

                                                                 Our First Family Picture

                                                       And A better picture of Bubs :) <3

The Jam Packed Week.

Well, It's my usual rest time so I figured Eh, I'll get this blog written and done. My goal is to not fall asleep during this..

So, It's been a pretty jam packed week, if i do say so myself.
SATURDAY: My Saturday was pretty crappy to say the least. I'm sure it would have been a rather normal day if I had not felt like a rhino practiced ballet on my back and head. (Severe back pain and a headache) I could hardly sleep that night. It was awful. I didn't want to take anything for it because anything I take Landon gets too. I'd rather suffer than give him a dose of some Tylenol or whatever.
SUNDAY: Slept in hardcore, like literally till 11:30. So, ultimately I skipped church again. (which I do admit, I don't really like. It's like.. not plugging in your phone at night. Church keeps me going, keeps me positive through the little personal dramas and frustrations.) Buuut, luckily I was needed. Kim had a rough night herself and so I played rescue hero and hung out with her. It was a well needed girly day.
And as always, we always have some hilarious event happen to us. Whilst driving home from checking her stuff in her storage unit.. A fire chief pulled up beside me and was driving next to me. I usually don't look because.. a) its medicine hat and there are a lot of creepy guys with big trucks (didn't notice it was a Fire Rescue truck). and b) see a) and times that by 10. Kim however had peered over, to which he put on his siren and lights. I pulled over and he just wanted to mention my tire was looking rather flat. I look over at Kim, only to realize that she looked like this...

We could only imagine how it must have looked to this guy. Just to see Wylie coyote peeking over at him randomly. It sent us into a giggle fit, which almost sent us off the road.
I also dyed her hair that night. And it looked pretty sweet. We did a level 4 (light brown) and some hot red streaks. I am rather proud of my work. Dying is my most favorite part of hair styling. I love the mixture of colours.
MONDAY: Woke up feeling rather nauseated again that day. I really hate the sour, slightly burning feeling of morning sickness. I'm going to be so relieved when I no longer have to deal with that or acid re-flux  I decided to dye my own hair. It turned out ok, I love the blonde pieces in my hair and so does Ricky. After that I touched up the house as best as a little fat, sore prego can do. My ankles decided to be cankles so I propped them up and ended up passing out for a few hours. My madre also made it home that night, which was so relieving to have her there. Took tons of stress off my shoulders.
TUESDAY: Woke up feeling rather sickly again that morning, but at least I got up earlier than the usual 11. (Very exhausted lately..) We got to watch little Baby Brooklynn while Erin went to her doctors appointment... We think the little sweet heart might be going through her growth spurt, as she is very hungry and fussy lately. She slept only a little while after her lunch and we had some troubles getting her settled. I could swear that I was a big scary monster or something. No matter how much I rocked her and gave her aunty kissles she just kept crying. We had to call in the big guns and daddy (Ben) came over to tame the sorrows of the princess. After much fussing, Ben finally got her to drink a bottle of formula and she fell asleep for a little while longer. Meanwhile, I sat on the floor trying to piece together a bouncer for Landon. Not a chance.. Bouncers are rather challenging to put together. (Unless your Ben, who put it together in like 10 minutes by himself.) Later that night, my mom took me out to dinner at the cheesecake cafe, where we devoured some delicious lettuce wraps. During dinner, I got a call from Ricky, who had been talking to the medical officer. (his colonoscopy was the day before) His colon is all cleared up but now they noticed hes bleeding from higher up. So, chances of Ricky being here for Landon's birth are even smaller than before. :(
My mom took sympathy on me and bought me a delicious banana split cheesecake Sunday. It was sooo tasty.
WEDNESDAY: Had my doctors appointment  Dr.Edwards told me he thinks Landon's heart rate is good, and that he thinks he is only an 8 pounder baby from my fundle measures and from touching the little guy through my tummy. My membranes were also stripped. My homework is to walk, walk, walk and walk, Hot baths and well.. the very act that got me pregnant.. but that's just not happening. So, its walking and baths for me. I also had the embarrassing moment of tripping on a chair in the bank. Luckily, i fell onto the chair.. and the banker didn't even bat an eyelash..
Got my car seat installed properly and my mom and I had a huge grocery shopping spree. Where I waddled around like a duck.
I also had my hospital tour that night. And learned that babies like to cuddle on their daddy's hairy chest. LOL. Gross.
THURSDAY: Not much happened, other than folding and putting away all of Landon's clothes and finding little baskets to put his bibs, socks and scratching mitts in. (Which I still need more of.. *cough*) And pacifiers... I also had a three hour nap o.O
FRIDAY: Very eventful day today. Got up early, and went to walmart with my mom. We found two cute shirts for her. But we had to leave quickly to get to my hair appointment. My hair is just a little shorter than i wanted BUT its healthy again and that's what matters. We went over to Superstore after, my poor mother wanted to zoom through the store but she cant because I waddle rather slowly everywhere. Plus, Landon was chilling on my cervix which makes walking slightly painful and uncomfy. I was banished to stay in the car while my mom ran into two other stores. Lol. We went back to walmart to grab some stuff that we didn't have time to get before my hair appointment. And some yummy chocolate. Then we proceeded to get lost in the parking lot for 10 minutes looking for the car.. which we had walked by -_-
I almost wet my pants laughing so hard.
Well, I think that's all for today. I also hear Brooklynn in the other room.. So.. I must flee into the other room to see her cuteness.

What A Wonderful Weee.. OW OW OW!!! Little Man.. That's NOT Funny! :(

Well, I didn't write anything down again thinking.. "Pssssht, I got this!" Yeah no.. No I don't "got this". Now is the time to recollect EVERYTHING that happened this week.. again. *facepalm*

Saturday: So, good old Saturday  Woke up to a gigantic mess after Ben's Halo Tournament. THAT was lovely.. not.. I at least got to eat some pizza for breakfast.. I know, not the healthiest thing to devour while your expecting but hey! If it's in front of me I'm going to eat it. Kind of like the tim bit story from my last post. AND there was this one time where Kim and I were at DQ.. And after I ate my meal.. I unconsciously started to eat her onion rings as well.. And how am i NOT 300 pounds?? o.O I however have been getting lovely edema in my legs. My ankles were soooo huge, I had to start wearing slippers everywhere instead of my boots!

Sunday:  I have no idea what I did this Sunday. I'm pretty sure i used my sore hips as an excuse to skip church and stay at home. They needed a break, ok? -_- Don't judge me.

Monday:Monday was soo lovely. I went over to Sister Schows house and spent 9 hours putting together Landon's blanky. It's very fluffy like a cloud, and soft. And I really can't wait to lay his little but on it. In the corner it has a very cute blue hippo with his name embroiderer in this pretty dark silver. Plus I also ate this delicious big piece of salmon for dinner! It tasted so good! My legs and ankles sure took a beating though. They were rather swollen and very sore by the time I got home. Luckily, Kim was there to give me a "Man service" and rubbed my feet with olive oil. We kind of messed around with pressure points.. and ow.. that kind of hurts...

Tuesday: Woke up Tuesday craving lettuce wraps. I think they are so delicious! I can't get over them! Had a nice chit chat with Kim while she packed up her stuff, as she was moving into her room that day. Her brother came and we put everything into the back of my truck. I was kind of worried that we would have kims stuff sprinkled all over the high way.. but luckily.. we made it to the house with everything still in the truck. After that, I had dinner at Ben and Erin's with the missionaries and it was delicious. And I kind of want to make my own Icecream..

Wednesday:My aunt came over wednesday morning and helped my clean up the house a little bit. It was sooo relieving to have a clean kitchen again. Then I headed off to my doctors appointment. Can I just say I hate the parking at the hospital? It's very hard to find a good, close spot. Especially in a big truck. I usually have to park across the whole lot but luckily I found a spot in the first row. Had a good appointment, Landon was pretty hyper though! Crazy little baby. or big baby i should say.
And back to the parking lot. tried to pull out but people kept getting in the way.. then they would back out and sit and wait for me to back out which was hard because im not used to that in a huge truck.. and I just dont like it when people do that so I sat there for five minutes.. and they wouldnt move.. It made me very, very, very grumpy. I eventually had to pull out and almost smoked some cars behind me because of how tight it was. Which made me even grumpier. I'm just going to have to live with parking in the back rows and end up walking farther.. Since people in Medicine Hat SUCK at everything that involves a vehicle. Learned about breastfeeding in prenatal class. And learned that babies can get milk drunk. Bahaha! So adorable.

Thursday: Had the most laziest day ever. I think i was awake for about 3 hours and then I passed out and slept the rest of the day. It was rather nice, but so unproductive! In the evening however.. A certain little man decided to try and break out (It feels like hes trying to swim out of me, which really hurts!)  AND to stretch out his legs and hurt his mommy's sides. His little but or lower back was jabbing out of my front just left of my belly button. I tried to tickle his little feet to get him to let up but he just chilled there, maybe pushed a little harder sometimes.. Ricky has been reading him a bed time story every night and He had to pause mid way last night to tell Landon to be nice to mommy. We both thought it was pretty stinkin cute and Ricky refered to landon as his little Kangaroo baby. I still refer to him as Godzilla baby.

Friday:Woke up this morning with, guess what, baby toes in my side again! And an exhausted, lazy orange cat passed out behind me. I slightly moved and heard.. "Meow?" I don't think he was very impressed that I was moving and waking him from his deep sleep. I forgot to wash my blender yesterday so I didnt get to have a delicious smoothy this morning. After my shower I waddled around the kitchen almost brought to my knees in tears because Landon was really pushing into my left side. I laid on the ground and got his little stinky body to flop onto my right side, which helped a little bit. Hopefully he knocks it off, I don't think Im going to be going into labor anytime soon and it really hurts me when he does that.
And Beef just came into the house through his cat door with a loud "MEOW??" as if to say 'HELLOOO?"
Seriously, he is a rather interesting character.

And I think that is it for this week. i really need to write down what happens throughout the week. Because i truly do forget everything.
Ugh..

Ugghhh....

I had this idea to write everything down that I did this past week.. but I didn't do it and I forgot pretty much everything.. Yay Placenta Brain.

I'll start with Monday, since I literally can't remember Saturday or Sunday.
Doctor Appointment: Well, after waiting for about an hour, I finally got to see the doctor. I can't remember her name at all, but i was supposed to be Seeing Dr. Prince. She eased my fears and told me Landon was perfectly fine for size, just his head was a little concerning ( GO FIGURE.. Thanks Ricky!). I was offered the option of having my membranes stripped this coming Wednesday  and she did say something about how I would not be a very happy woman if I went into week 41. I am not sure if that means that I will be induced or not?? Guess I will find out.

TUESDAY: I had an awesome day on Tuesday. I had a wonderful time with a lady in my ward. She picked me up and we had a day in town. She is going to be helping me sew a blanket together for Landon. A juicy, soft, heavenly, squishy blanky. We got all the things we needed for that. I helped her pick out some cup cakes for my sister-in-laws baby shower (Which were absolutely scrumptious!). Then she took me for Lunch at this Thai place down town and MY GOODNESS it was fantastic. I had lettuce wraps and I have been craving them since! I must learn to make them.

WEDNESDAY: I only really got to finish my change table this day. My aunt and I took on the pain staking process of putting on this not so sticky wall paper like stuff on all the shelves. It was rather challenging as, it would easily unstick and we would have to put the same piece on like 5 times.. Very difficult.

THURSDAY: Went into town with Kim to look at her possible room she will be staying in here. She got it! But she did buy a pack of tim bits.. and ate two while I ate the rest.. typical me...... -_-
Shorted my phone after touching it with wet hands.. go me.. Luckily Kim is awesome and bought me this cheap less than 50 dollar phone for my birthday, and my plan was literally lowered to 35 dollars a month! sick right??
This was also the night of the shower. And those delicious cupcakes! There was red velvet, chocolate, raspberry, and a surprise flavor. So tasty! They were made by Cake Break (located downtown with Cactus Clay). Brooklynn received many cute outfits, toys and other little nick-nacks. Unfortunately for me, I got to lay in bed that night when someone decided i needed a little knee in my stomach and ended up bent over the porcelain god again... -_- TWICE

TODAY: Did absolutely nothing useful today except put my clean baby clothes in a basket and threw that on my change table for folding and putting away later.. Self esteem had a drop today.. As you see, I feel like a fat hippo, with stretch marks and fat and saggy mama boobs. I really want my old body back and better skin and I just feel like I will NEVER get there. I hate skinny girls.. soo freaking much.
Also.. My friend reported her belly button popped. :( She is tiny and I am huge and mine looks like its puckering up for a kiss!(not fully popped)  Lucky, lucky girl!
Plus my brother is having a Halo tournament and they are sooooooo loud.. too much testosterone..

Well, that's it for this week.. maybe I'll remember to write things down.. probably not..

(a family picture, you all love pictures right??) 

What Was That Ms Ultrasound Tech? Can You Repeat That?

Well, nothing much has really changed in a week...

First: Update on the baby: Had a nice ultrasound on Monday, January 14th. It's always nice to hear that your baby has a beautiful spine, is developing nicely, has hair on his noggin, was sucking his thumb AND was holding onto his toes. What's not so nice to hear? You have a big baby.. He has a big head.. You really need to be assertive with the doctors to monitor your baby's size, He looks 7 pounds 9 ounces. Yes.. i still have about a month to go... I could be giving birth to Godzilla here.
Other than that, Landon has certainly been a little wiggler in my tummy, making it heave back and forth. (this is very disruptive in church because its distracting, humorous and my mother and i bust up laughing)
Plus, I woke up this morning with a giant bulge on the left side where he had slipped too, which is pretty cute. It enables be to rub his back... which i am hoping he likes. I picked out his coming home outfit, which was sent up from his Cali Gam Gam. Other than that, Landon is doing extremely well. 4 more weeks.


Second.. My cat, Beef, has gone mental. It started with some hysterical meows. Then we noticed his eyes had dilated and he was attacking everything in sight, Including Guido , especially Ms. Kitty. We often find clumps of her fluffy hair scattered all over the place from the attacks.. I have even seen some sticking out of Beef's mouth from biting her. (he's soo bad)


Third.. Parents are off to St. George for a week or two or so. Just watch.. I'll go into labor while they are gone. o.O Wish me luck.
Anywho, I don't have much of a writers brain today... So that's it for this week.

The First Post o.O (DUN Dun duuuunn)

Well, here goes nothing.. or something. 
     First off, I am still actually only Emily Huber. (NOT FOR LONG THOUGH!) 
You see, technically I should be known as an Emily Smith.. BUT you can't exactly go rushing into the states, slap on a wedding dress, get hitched and call it a day. Oh no, there is a whole entire process of having your beloved, (in my case a rather tall and charming hunk named Ricky.. yes a HUNK. He's pretty dang sexy and lovable.. anywhoo)  fill out a petition to bring you to the States and filling out a K-1 visa. Which takes forever.. Good thing my darling fiance is worth it. Oh, might I add that I am currently 8 months pregs with our first little chunky tub of love, Mr. Landon Irving Smith, the wiggly beast of my womb (and heart <3) He's such a little heart throb! 

 

Ricky and I <3 

(more pictures later) 

      So, just a little about my current chaotic life... Currently living at home with my parental units. (Still waiting on that visa.. and Stinker's grand entrance) Soon, they will be parting for a mini vaca down in good old St. George, Utah. Partying among the well kept Utahns and starting the pool in the backyard there at the house. In the meantime.. It will be I who runs the house.. That's right. Me in charge.. Of myself and three balls of fur and purs. It will be my job to keep the house spit spot and to clean any of the unknown and mysterious substances that my cat decides to heave upon the floor... (I know right? EW!) Quick note on cats.. Yes I am a crazed cat lady. As I said.. we have three of them. Guido, the soft, grey sappy cat who everyone loves and adores. Ms. Kitty, the skittish but vicious hunting big ball of puff, and Beef.. the most annoying, bad, garbage eating, but to cute to resist orange tabby. I will probably fill my blogs full of lame and stupid stories about them, so bare with me. 
    You will also hear of multiple stories of Ricky. Life is never dull around him. You will be marveled.. entertained.. your jaw will drop.. the palm of your hand will find a connection with your forehead at times when I speak of him. But seriously,  that's why i love him so much. NEVER a dull moment. (Seriously.. its sad that I wrote more about the cats than him... can you see how cat crazy i am?) I'll introduce him more later on. 
     Well other than updating on the last, slow month of my pregnancy and my eventual moving to the sunshine state of California... there really isn't much more to talk about. I mean, I'm sure I'll find SOMETHING to write about considering I'm a huge ditz, who has plenty of dumb moments that I can entertain you with. as for now.. I'm peacing out. After I make the page pretty.. Or attempt to at least. 
Peace!